


It's a Metaphor, Brian

by potatoinflames



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Please Kill Me, Swearing, Tags Are Hard, and brian, angry roger, idk - Freeform, roger is in love with his car
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 22:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17109032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatoinflames/pseuds/potatoinflames
Summary: The Queen boys argue about Roger's song, "I'm In Love With My Car", which leads to Brian finding out some interesting details about the song, Roger getting angry and a lot of sexual tension. Based on the infamous "Not the coffee machine" scene from BoRhap.





	It's a Metaphor, Brian

**Author's Note:**

> So I watched Bohemian Rhapsody for the 1078926th time and realized that the scene where they argue about "I'm In Love With My Car" is not only a meme but also legit one of the best parts of the movie and I got this weird idea and now we're here. This is my first time writing on this platform and for this fandom so I hope you like it lol. Also initially I wanted this to be a drabble where Brian completely pisses Roger off which leads to them having sex but realized I couldn't write smut so I did this instead. Enjoy 
> 
> P.S.: ik everyone uses this as an excuse for shitty writing but English is not my first language so if I make mistakes it's probably for that reason not because I'm a dumbass. There I said it

“ _You call me sweet like I’m some kind of cheese?_ ” - Roger read Brian’s smudged handwriting frantically. They have been arguing in the kitchen for what seemed like hours about Roger’s new song “I’m In Love With My Car”. Deaky occasionally tried to soften the blow for him, but it only fueled Taylor’s rage as Freddie observed the whole ordeal with great amusement.  
“It’s good.” - May mumbled, visibly startled by the counterargument.  
“Wow!” - Roger exhaled with even more anger. Brian could stop now and let Freddie decide whether he wanted Rog’s bizarre song to see the light of day as he usually did. It wasn’t that bad, after all. But Taylor’s furrowed eyebrows and furious gaze awoke something in Brian that made him want to dispute with the blonde until he completely lost his mind. Maybe it was a sense of competitiveness. He didn’t really know.  
“ _When my hand’s on your grease gun_.” - Brian recited, losing his breath. - “That’s very subtle.”  
John and Freddie smirked as Roger clenched his jaw.  
“It’s a metaphor, Brian!” - he barked, causing the other bandmates even more laughter. May, however, became quieter, eyeing the drummer’s flushed cheeks and the vein that appeared on his neck as he yelled in exasperation. There was something hypnotizing about it, and Brian knew he wanted to keep provoking his temperamental bandmate.  
“It’s just a bit weird, Roger. What exactly are you doing with that car?” - Deaky added with his signature smile.  
“Children, please, if we all kill each other, who will be there to record the album?” - Freddie added as Taylor breathed heavily, now on the verge of physically fighting everyone in the room.  
“Statistically, most bands don’t fail - they break up.” - John added.  
“Why the hell would you say something like that?” - Freddie raised his eyebrows, bringing them back to reality. Maybe Brian got carried away? - “Roger, there’s only room in this band for one hysterical queen.” - the singer smiled as he disappeared from the kitchen. May gazed at the blonde, who still appeared furious from their argument. Brian’s curiosity started taking a toll on him. What would Roger do if he really pushed him to his limits? He knew Taylor would never actually hurt him.  
“You know why you’re pissed off?” - Brian added.  
“Why?” - Roger scoffed.  
“Because you know your song isn’t strong enough.” - the guitarist stated, immediately looking down in embarrassment. He and Taylor would often fight about things like this, but it would never get down to insulting each other’s songs like this. Roger smiled sardonically as he reached for the leftovers of their breakfast that were still resting on the stove. Before Brian knew it, an egg flew in his face. Taylor didn’t seem to get enough - he immediately reached for the coffee machine on the shelf.  
“Not the coffee machine!” - Deaky and Brian yelled in unison.  
“I think I’m going to head out. There are some things I need to… Ummm… Well, bye.” - John smiled at Brian sympathetically as he left the kitchen, leaving him with Taylor, who was still holding the machine up.

“Roger-” - May mumbled as the drummer slowly put down the coffee machine. Now that they were alone, he seemed to have calmed down a little. He exhaled and tucked his blond locks behind his ears, showing off the redness of his cheeks. Brian immediately realized he was staring. What’s wrong with me? - he thought. First, I purposefully make Roger angry, and now I’m just looking at him like an absolute idiot. He must think I’ve lost my mind.  
“I just didn’t know it was so important to you.” - Brian spoke up. “Don’t get me wrong, but all the songs on this album touch on such important subjects, and the idea of including a song like this just seems a bit ridiculous to me. Take “You’re My Best Friend”, for example. It’s about Deaky’s wife! Having a song about a car next to it is just... “  
“It’s not about a car, you idiot!” - Roger sighed, rolling his eyes.  
“What?” - Brian blinked, not completely understanding what the blonde meant.  
“I told you. It’s a metaphor.”  
“Wait, so the song is about a girl?” - May chuckled. - “That makes perfect sense!”  
“No.” - Roger said softly.  
“Wh-”  
“Seriously, Brian, piss off!” - Taylor yelled. - “Are you deliberately trying to ruin our friendship?” - he added as he walked away before the guitarist could say anything.  
Ruin our friendship? What the hell could he mean by that? - Brian sighed as he reached for a towel to clean his white shirt from the egg.

***

“Freddie.” - Brian called nervously as the singer played some tune on the piano. The others were in town to do some grocery shopping, and May thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask him for some advice. Or, rather, information. After all, Freddie knew pretty much everything about everyone.  
“Yes, darling?” - he turned around in his chair, now facing Bri.  
“I’m going to ask you something, but you can’t laugh.” - Brian mumbled.  
“Why would I laugh? I never laugh at serious questions.” - he smiled.  
“Do you think there is any chance “I’m In Love With My Car” is about me?” - he said, his cheeks flushing.  
“What?” - Freddie let out a chuckle.  
“You promised not to laugh! I feel stupid.” - Brian buried his face in his hands. - “It’s just that… Yesterday, when we had that argument about it, he said it wasn’t just about a car. So I assumed it was about a girl, and he said no and got really angry and-”  
“Well, why do you care?” - Freddie smiled. - “Do you want it to be about you?”  
Brian looked down.  
“Oh dear.” - the singer’s eyes lit up. - “You do, don’t you?”  
“Freddie, I swear to god, if you tell Roger, or Deaky, or Mary, or anyone… I will kill you. But yesterday, when he was all pissed of, I looked at him and…” - Brian sighed.  
“And what?”  
“I think I have feelings for Roger.” - he blurted out and looked down in embarrassment.  
“Well, I thought we all knew he liked you for a while now.” - Freddie laughed. “As for the song, I don’t really know. _Told my girl I'll have to forget her, rather buy me a new carburetor_? Actually, that makes sense.”  
“Oh god…” - Brian was now smiling as Mercury choked with laughter.  
“ _When my hand's on your grease gun_.” - he recited. - “Girls don’t have grease guns, Brian.”

***

“Rog, I’m really sorry about yesterday.” - Brian said as he stood in Roger’s doorway. The drummer put away the book he was reading and sat on his bed.  
“It’s me who should be sorry.” - he sighed, avoiding looking at May at all costs. - “I was being an ass. Just… Forget what I said.”  
“Even the last part?” - Brian smiled shyly.  
“Especially the last part. I don’t know what I meant by that. It’s so fucking embarrassing.”  
“Roger.”  
“Yeah?” - their eyes met as the guitarist sat on the bed, next to Taylor.  
“Is the song about me?” - Brian said softly. Roger didn’t answer. It seemed as if he was about to cry, and May suddenly felt awful for asking him like that. He suddenly cupped Roger’s face and pressed their lips together. Taylor returned the kiss, leaning in and making Brian fall on the bed. He positioned himself on May’s lap as he kissed him again, gently pushing the guitarist’s dense, curly hair out of the way. Brian moaned as Roger left a trail of cold kisses down his neck. His fingers were buried in Taylor’s blonde locks as he smelled the gentle aroma of Roger’s shampoo mixed with his cologne. The drummer would occasionally place kisses on Brian’s lips, filling his mouth with the taste of his mint gum.  
“Oh, dear!” - Freddie chuckled as he appeared in the doorway. - “I didn’t mean to disturb.”  
“Fred, it’s not…” - Roger sighed as he got up, fixing his hair.  
“Well.” - Mercury smiled as he closed the door behind him. - “Guess you finally got your hand on the grease gun.”  
“So the song is about me?” - Brian laughed as Freddie left.  
“Shut up.”  
“ _Got to feel for my automobile_ ”. - he chanted.  
“ _I’m in love with my ca-ar!_ ” - Roger sang back.  
“And I’m in love with you, Roger.”


End file.
